The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
