I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
