Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
