Christians are straight up FREAKS
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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