If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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