Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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