She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
