HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
