Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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