i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Someone shattered a urinal.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
