You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
