Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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