Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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