you guys were way drunker than both of me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
