Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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