I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize
