Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
