We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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