some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
