you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
