My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
