Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
