i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
