Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
True college students do jello shots in the library
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
