I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
