I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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