i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
