at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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