You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
