I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
