I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
