But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize