Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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