Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
As shirtless as possible
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize