Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
