I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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