You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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