she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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