Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
