mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
