Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
