Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
only you would photoshop your dick
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
