So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I want to fling myself into the sun
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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