Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
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