tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
