it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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