The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
