he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
