the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
