wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
