idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
