We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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