Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize