Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
