Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
