I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize