Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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