When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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