she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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